When I was a kid I hated washing the dinner dishes by hand in the kitchen sink. Hated it! I would do anything to get out of it. Finally resorting to doing such a bad job of it that my mom had to give in and do them herself.

Our new home in Maine does not have a dishwasher.

I do, however, have something that I did not have when I was younger. Patience. And an appreciation for a job well-done. Now, I actually enjoy doing the dishes by hand. It gives me a chance to be purely in the moment, mindful of the washing and the rinsing, letting all of my other thoughts vanish.

When I wash the dishes, I wash the dishes.

When you multi-task, the efficiency level of any given part of your attention goes down. You are not giving anything your best, nor will you get the best possible result. Work on “mono-tasking“.

Do one thing at a time. You may find that you get more done, and more importantly, things will get done better.

Time management is a common focus here (Three Steps to Better Time Management) and on other productivity blogs, but something that is not often discussed is just what good is all this time that we are managing? There are several reasons to be concerned about your use of time, and there are times when you should feel free to just “be”. Here are five things for you to think about, as an exercise in investing your time:

1. Time allows you to rest and recover - We all need downtime for recuperating from stress. Pushing yourself and overcoming challenges are excellent ways to invest time, resting is the best way to use some of the time you gain from your investment.
2. Time allows you to increase your focus - Invest the time that you gain to think about bigger things, your 3-5 year goals, your Someday/Maybe list. What do you want to have time for doing later?
3. Time allows you to gather the facts - Gaining a true understanding of your situation takes time. Investing time in this way creates a larger picture for you to evaluate.
4. Time allows you to see how things turn out - Once you set a plan in motion there are frequently some variables beyond your control, and waiting is all that you can do. Invest this downtime to prepare for the next stage of your project.
5. Time allows you to create balance in your life - All work and no play leads to a heart attack. Invest the time that you gain to be with your family and friends. Connecting with your circle is energizing and can be a link to discoveries you may not have expected.

How do you invest your time, and what do you do with the time that you gain?

• Life.
• Work.
• Friends.
• Family.
• Neighbors.

These relationships are the foundation of our total reality. Our values determine how these relationships grow and flourish, or wither and die. It can be very easy to compromise your values, especially when we get into stressful or fast-paced situations. It is important to maintain your mental and spiritual health by keeping an eye on what kinds of choices we are making. Cutting corners, or compromising my guiding principles, in order to solve problems or avoid conflict has, in my own experience, come back to bite me later.

Your lifestyle can leave you vulnerable to situations that lead to compromising your values: simple, everyday actions and choices that you do not give much thought to. I would like to share some lessons that I have learned to reduce these temptations, eliminate “drama” form my life, and make it easier for me to maintain my principles and values.

1. Be Careful About What You See - “The eyes are the window to the soul“. An old expression, but an important one. Most of your information absorption is visual, so you need to be aware of what you are taking in. Keep it positive! Television and movies, while generally meant to entertain, can also subtly influence the kind of information that you get in a negative fashion. News and Politics in particular, can suffer from interesting biases on television, and “Reality TV” in all of its notorious forms is purely designed to feed on scandal. None of this is good for your mind or your values.
2. Be Careful About What You Hear - The types of music that you listen to, the radio programs, and the language of the people around you can have an influence on your values. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a conversation that has taken an ugly turn.
3. Be Careful About What You Think - You are your own greatest critic. If you think and believe that you cannot do something, achieve some goal, you are very likely to be correct. If you are careful with your thinking, and avoid the mental traps of self-guilt and doubt, you can do anything that you put your mind to. Your values should be a guide to success, not an obstacle that you try to skirt around by cheating on principles.
4. Be Careful About What You Say - The language and vocabulary that you use with the people in your life is so important. Not that you need to speak to your children as if they were employees, but you need to be mindful of the impact that the words you use have on others. Show the people that you speak to that you value them and their input. How you say something can be even more important that what you are saying.
5. Be Careful of How You Feel - The world of emotion can be a dangerous one. Anger, depression, and guilt can lead you down the road to compromising your values. Keeping perspective, and using your emotions in a positive way, will have a tremendous effect on your life and your relationships. Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And sometimes when you think that you don’t! You can go to a friend, a parent, your pastor or priest when your feelings are overwhelming you. Taking a small step like that now can save you from compromising your values later.
6. Be Careful of Where You Go - My father once told me, “You can’t be arrested for getting in a bar fight, if you don’t hang out in bars.” Heh. Good advice. Where you go and who you associate with will often present you with values-based choices to be made. If you do not put yourself in a bad situation, you will be much less likely to be able to make a choice against your values.

What do you say? Have you been in a situation where the “better” choice was to back down on your principles? When it can be easier to “go along so you can get along“? What did you do?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you encounter some form of criticism. It may be at work, at home, or have to do with a friendship or romantic relationship. Some is constructive, meant to encourage you and improve some aspect of your work or life. Other times it is playful banter between friends, or it can be spiteful and mean.

Nevertheless, developing a reputation (for good or ill) for receiving criticism is an important part of building your relationships with friends, family, and co-workers. What is your own persoanl style when you or your work is criticized? Are you perceived as defensive or perhaps comabative, or are you known to be accepting, willing to learn and improve? Here are a few tips for preparing yourself to handle any sort of criticism in a professional manner:

• Listen - Do not start thinking about how you will retort to this critic while they are still speaking. Listen with your full attention, absorb the conversation. If the criticism seems unfair, or mean-spirited, stay calm. Breathe. Wait for them to finish. 
• Avoid Revenge - Getting angry and exacting your revenge on an unfair critic does feel better, at first. Escalating the situation, or creating a more serious breach in your relationship will hurt more in the long run. Don’t get angry. Respond calmly.
• Consider Your Response - Take some time to consider what has been said. If you need some time to evaluate or prepare a formal response, let the other person know that you will have to get back to them. Set an appointment with yourself  to handle it.
• Heed the Criticism - Do not automatically dismiss the criticism. Especially when you believe that you are being unfairly criticized, keep an open mind. There may be a kernal of truth in what your critic is saying.
• Focus on the Truth - Be honest with yourself about what has been said. Evaluate the criticism, and create a plan or Next Action to change what you need to. 
• Forgive - Not everyone is as patient or understanding as you are. Do not hold a grudge against someone who criticizes you.  Instead, you may find it possible to improve your relationship with your critic.
• Stay Positive - View criticism as an opportunity to improve, a chance to become a better person - a better employee, friend, student, spouse or parent.

Now for the fun part. Share the most unfair criticism that you have received, and how you dealt with it. Or tell us about some constructive criticism that has made a positive impact on your life.