Welcome to the next-to-last installment of the series on how to implement the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in a Getting Things Done-style system. This series of posts will guide you through the stages of personal implementation over several weeks. This will give you a chance to focus on each new habit in your life for one full week before beginning the next one. For those of you that have not read Stephen Covey’s landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, here is a brief synopsis of the seventh habit:

Sharpen the Saw focuses on balanced self-satisfaction: Regain what Covey calls “production capability” by engaging in carefully selected recreational activities. Use this time productively to restore your energy and morale, re-connect with friends and family, refresh your spiritual self.

Habit VII: Sharpen the Saw

The seventh and final habit of highly effective people is best illustrated by the anecdote that Covey uses at the introduction of the chapter:

Suppose that you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree.
“What are you doing?”, you ask.
“Can’t you see,” comes the impatient reply. “I’m sawing down this tree.”
“You look exhausted!” you exclaim. “How long have you been at it?”
“Over five hours,” he returns, “and I’m beat! This is hard work.”
“Well, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that saw?” you inquire. “I’m sure it would go a lot faster.”
“I don’t have time to sharpen the saw,” the man says emphatically. “I’m too busy sawing!”

~Stephen Covey

This is the trap that so many busy people find themselves in. Sawing away frantically at their tree, never stopping to maintain the saw, or replenish the energy that it takes to do the work.

The seventh habit is about personal renewal, bringing your greatest asset back into top operating condition. What asset is that? You. You are the common denominator of every aspect of your life. That may seem like an obvious statement, but I will wager that you, dear reader and many people that you know and care about, do not take enough time for yourselves in order to relax and simply be present.

Covey describes four areas of the human existence that need regular maintenance and TLC:

1. The Physical You - Your body needs food and water to survive. It also needs more. It needs exercise and activity to function properly.
2. The Mental You - Your brain has been compared to a muscle, in that it too needs exercise and a variety of stimulation. Ongoing learning and education provide this beneficial stimulus.
3. The Social/Emotional You - Everyone has a need for interpersonal relationships. Whether at work, after work, with friends and neighbors, family and social organizations - these relationships bring renewal through communication and cooperation.
4. The Spiritual You - Typically a very private portion of your life, the Spiritual You is not necessarily about religion. It is about your beliefs and values, how they affect and are affected by the various other parts of your life.

Personal Renewal in Context

All four of these dimensions should be exercised regularly in a balanced way. This process of renewal is a Quadrant 2 activity, important but not urgent. It is also an investment of time, not a spending of time, that has a true return.
The return is an increase in your energy level, a clearness of your thinking, a commitment to your values, and a connection to those you care about.

Practical Applications

In short, investing the time to Sharpen the Saw allows you to get back to work sawing with greater efficiency and effectiveness.

Physical Conditioning

Paying attention to your diet and level of exercise can go a long way to improving your performance in every area of your life. Eating a balanced diet is important to healthy body chemistry. Every person is different in their caloric needs, and as I am not a doctor I am not going to go into too much detail. Suffice it to say that a diet rich in french fries is not the healthiest.

But there is more to it than that:

• Just going for a walk outside, or around the mall, can improve your circulation and endurance.
• Taking the time to stretch and limber up in the morning before starting your day can prevent a variety of work-related injuries.
• Pay attention to your posture, at home and at work.
• Do you have the proper supports for your hands on your computer keyboard and mouse?

Invest the time in your physical environment and in exercising your body.

Mental Awareness

Do you remember all of that “stuff” you had to learn in High School that you thought you’d never use? Well, if you haven’t used it the chances are good that you have lost it. (I personally could not differentiate a calculus problem today if my life depended on it!) Your mental acuity and power can be enhanced by more thinking.

You simply need to think about other things:

• Read a book.
• Learn a language.
• Do a puzzle.
• Play a board game,
• or find a chess partner.

Using your brain for thinking tasks that are also enjoyable creates new pathways and opens the floodgates of creativity. Some of you might be thinking, “But I’m not creative!” Sure you are. You just don’t get enough practice. Using and developing your creative skills in the context of entertainment enhances those abilities in other contexts as well, like work and general problem solving.

Social Engagement

“No man is an island”, as the old saying goes. Each of us is part of one or more groups that provide a mutual benefit. The group benefits from our presence and contributions while we benefit from the support of and connection to the group. Friendships, organized sports teams, social groups and clubs, business networks, your church, the list goes on and on. Being part of a group and participating in group activities is essential to your effectiveness.

Consider the benefits that membership in a group typically confers:

• Like-minded people to talk to
• Support and resources for help in times of need
• Entertainment and recreation
• Personal validation and recognition
• Business opportunities

Get involved, it’ll do you good. You might even learn something.

Spiritual Centering

Finding your central values and core beliefs is what the previous 6 habits were all about. the seventh habit ties them together. Investing the time for spiritual renewal provides the energy, the determination and the guiding hand for your life. There are about as many ways to express your spiritual dimension as there are people to practice it. It is intensely private, as it is incredibly important. Your values create the framework and structure of your entire life. How you relate to people, respond to stress, handle crises, express your feelings.

Replenishing this core source of energy and vitality is essential to your effectiveness:

• Meditation or prayer
• Communing with nature
• Literature
• Music
• Participation in worship
• Participation in community service
• Individual commitments to serve others

It is much easier to see where you are going when you know where you are starting from.

Building the Habit

I ask you to take on three simple activities that will help you administer and adjust to your new habit.

These activities are:

1. Create a Weekly Plan

Take some time at the end of your Weekly Review to plan your activities for the coming week. If you are not familiar with the Weekly Review, click here for more information. Be sure to set aside some time for personal renewal.

Consider these questions as you plan your week:

1. How do I really spend my time?
2. What is truly important to me?
3. How can I make my commitments more effective?

2. Make a Personal Commitment

Commit yourself to adding one simple activity each week to implement and practice the new habit. Whether you go outside after work to play catch with your child, or spend time with the bowling team, make a commitment to establishing more time for Sharpening the Saw.

3. Teach to Learn

One of the best ways to establish your own understanding of a new topic is to explain it to another person. Pick someone that you can teach the new habit to, it can be your accountability partner or someone else.

Please let me know if you have any questions or need some help. There is no worksheet this week, you didn’t miss the download link. For review, here are all of the previous posts in the series:

• Habit One - Be Proactive
• Habit Two - Begin with the End in Mind
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part I
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part II
• Habit Four - Think Win/Win
• Habit Five - Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
• Habit Six - Synergize

Anita Bruzzese has a post at 45 Things that builds on the ideas of the Sixth Habit: Synergize that I wrote about on Monday.

On the Job

What can managers do to help keep customers while not placing more stress on workers? Try:

• Providing a supportive environment. An employee who has been put through the wringer by a customer should be supported by a manager by being allowed to step away from the job for a while. A chance to take a short walk, or even take the afternoon off, can show the employee that the manager is sympathetic to the situation.
• Recognition. A manager needs to make a habit of recognizing the contribution that workers make to an organization, and the emotional stresses faced every day. Rewards and incentives show that the employee has worth.

Read the whole thing, and learn more at the Employee Engagement Network.

Welcome to the latest installment of the series on how to implement the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in a Getting Things Done-style system. This series of posts will guide you through the stages of personal implementation over several weeks. This will give you a chance to focus on each new habit in your life for one full week before beginning the next one. For those of you that have not read Stephen Covey’s landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, here is a brief synopsis of the sixth habit:

Synergize describes a way of working in teams. Apply effective problem solving. Apply collaborative decision making. Value differences. Build on divergent strengths. Leverage creative collaboration. Embrace and leverage innovation. It is put forth that when synergy is pursued as a habit, the result of the teamwork will exceed the sum of what each of the members could have achieved on their own. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.

Habit VI - Synergize

This is the penultimate step in creating a pattern of effectiveness in your life. As the third pillar of the Public Victory, Synergy is the structure that makes interdependence such a powerful lever for increasing your personal productivity and success. Stephen Covey compares the Sixth Habit of Highly Effective People to a math equation where 1 + 1 = 3, or more!

Creative Cooperation in Context

The goal of Synergy is to maximize the value of the varied contributions that parts of a system make to the whole. There are two ways that each part leverages maximum value:

1. Building on the strengths of each team member.
2. Shoring up, or compensating for, their weaknesses.

Synergy is the cooperative relationship between the individual units, team members, or ingredients that becomes an integral part of the grouping, thus making the whole greater that the sum of its parts. By working together creatively, the group is able to accomplish more or become more effective than any of the individual components could working on their own.

Participation and Engagement

In Habit 4 we discussed the principles of Win/Win and in Habit 5 we discussed the importance of creating Understanding in Communication. The habit of Synergy takes these two concepts and increases their power by creating an environment of participation. The Win/Win concept becomes a motive for working together toward a common goal, or finding value in different goals and working to reconcile them.

Interacting with understanding becomes the method for this increased level of participation. Creating this synergy can be a difficult process as it requires a new mind-set from all of the participants; it requires a new level of engagement and an atmosphere of safety in which to operate. Seeing this in action becomes its own reward, as the participants become engaged in the process of creation.

Creativity, innovation, and true teamwork can soar to previously unknown levels of effectiveness when the participants are willing and empowered to capture the power of Synergy. Some factors that influence this process positively are:

• Trust
• Openness
• Transparency
• Mutual respect
• Recognition of contributions
• Camaraderie
• Authenticity

On the other hand, a highly competitive environment will have a stifling effect on the growth of Synergy. This competition between team members can actually work in the opposite direction - reducing the effectiveness of those participants that are not motivated by the competition or the reward. Other factors that can have a negative effect on the Synergy of engagement are:

• Poor communication
• Lack of understanding
• Undefined roles
• Not having clear goals
• Inexperienced leadership
• “Political” maneuvering
• Perfectionism
• Personal value conflicts

“Vision begins with one person, but it is only accomplished by many people.” ~John C. Maxwell

Creating this atmosphere of trust and engagement is likely to be one of the most challenging tasks that you can undertake. It can also be the most rewarding. Most of the people that we work with every day are starving for a chance to make a larger contribution, achieve greater goals, be a part of something bigger than themselves. Living and teaching the habit of Synergy is your contribution to being part of something bigger than yourself.

Practical Applications

In order to develop the habit of Synergy, the most important step is to get beyond the “Us vs. Them” state of mind. You, and the people that you work with, must begin to think in terms of “We”. Once again the emotional bank account becomes a measure of your progress, and your personal sincerity is the currency that you will be depositing.

Without sincerity, the other parts of your system and members of your team may not trust you enough to participate and engage. It will look cynical and manipulative!

There is an old expression, “A rising tide lifts all boats“. Think about this analogy:

How much more can be accomplished if you could focus your efforts on applying your strengths to preparing all of the boats for the rising tide? If everyone on your team worked on the tasks that they are best at, and everyone helped each other at those tasks where they do not excel?

How often do you find yourself struggling to channel all of the water into your own little portion of the harbor? What kind of victory is it if it comes at the expense of the others on your team or in your organization?

Life is not a zero-sum game. Apply these exercises the next time you are in a meeting, a planning session, or encounter a situation that is stuck on competition. In the sincere expression of trust, these tools can be used to generate a spirit of cooperation and participation:

• Identify the common traits of the competing forces, ideas, problems/solutions.
• Open a Brainstorming discussion on the differences, search for an alternative resolution.
• Be careful not to take over but to facilitate.
• Solicit Win/Win scenarios and solutions from all of the participants.

Valuing the Differences

People see the world through their own eyes. The differences between people - mental, social, spiritual, economic, and so on - color this perception of the world. The hardest part to understand for many of us is that these perceptions are not wrong. Though different, everyone is right about how they see the world, their problems, and their opportunities. Capturing the value of these differences is the essence of Synergy.

Building the Habit

Here is a short list of activities that will help you administer and adjust to your new habit. These activities are:

• Think about a person close to you (at work or personally) who sees things differently than you do. Write down some ways that these differences could be used as starting points for finding alternative solutions.
• Identify a situation which could benefit from increased engagement and Synergy. What factors need to change in order to promote this cooperation? What can you do to change these factors? Who can you enlist to assist you in making changes?
• Pick a small project (at home or at work) that you can start from scratch in an atmosphere that promotes Synergy. Keep the number of team members small and use all of the skills that you have learned so far:
  1. Be Proactive: Create a new environment of trust
  2. Begin with the end in mind: The Synergy of the group will produce an amazing result that everyone can learn from
  3. Put first things first: Value the differences
  4. Think Win/Win: Creating the new atmosphere of cooperation and participation is a win for all
  5. Seek first to understand, then be understood: Accepting differences in points of view is the key to successful understanding

Please let me know if you have any questions or need some help. There is no worksheet this week, you didn’t miss the download link. For review, here are all of the previous posts in the series:

• Habit One - Be Proactive
• Habit Two - Begin with the End in Mind
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part I
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part II
• Habit Four - Think Win/Win
• Habit Five - Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Welcome to part seven of the series on how to implement the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in a Getting Things Done-style system. This series of posts will guide you through the stages of personal implementation over several weeks. This will give you a chance to focus on each new habit in your life for one full week before beginning the next one.

For new readers, here are all of the posts in the series:

• Habit One - Be Proactive
• Habit Two - Begin with the End in Mind
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part I
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part II
• Habit Four - Think Win/Win

Some of you may not have read Stephen Covey’s landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, therefore here is a brief synopsis of the fifth habit:

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Covey warns that giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in rejection of that advice. In order to participate in communication fully, one should be sure to understand the speaker by asking questions and then replying in a way that lets the listener know that you understand the situation.

Habit V - Seek First to Understand, then to Be Understood

Stephen Covey’s description of the Fifth Habit of Highly Effective People is based on two important concepts:

1. The first three Habits are “Private Victories”, the building blocks of personal growth and development. Being proactive in your environment, practicing the skill of visualizing results, and focusing on the things that are truly important are the core goals of self-mastery. The fifth Habit is second in the list of “Public Victories”, a set of interpersonal skills that enhance communication and interdependence. It is absolutely imperative that you have established your own personal principles before you begin to listen with empathy and take on the deep understanding of those that you communicate with.
2. Seeking understanding is a two-way street that relies on the ability of each listener to ‘actively listen’ and get into the need behind the need in the conversation.

Generally speaking, our first impulse in communicationis to make sure that we have been understood. Especially as managers and leaders and parents, we often give instruction to others. While this sort of directed communication is important, it is not the only way that we communicate. There are many times that others will come to us with problems, with needs, or with conversation.

It is in those times that we practice listening with empathy. This means turning our communication practice around and seeking first to understand, rather than first to be understood. This puts the power in the hands of the other person, the power to communicate their feelings. The responsibility then lies with us to accept, and understand the source of, these feelings.

Feelings (and perceptions) are interesting things - they are never “wrong”. Even though you may not agree with someone’s feelings or perceptions of an issue, their feelings are correct for them. As an empathic listener you must create for yourself the ability to understand the position that this person holds, in order to effectively communicate your own position.

The Negative Power of the Autobiographical Response

Empathic listening is powerful because it gives you a look at the autobiography of the person speaking. Unfortunately, our own first response is often to project our own feelings, motivations, and interpretations of the situation onto the other person. News flash: Other people do not think like you do! In fact, many of the people that you will come in contact with over the course of your life and work will think and feel and respond to stimuli as if they are creatures from another planet.

Your own story, your autobiography, provides you with a frame of reference for interpreting the world. It is important to remember that the person you are communicating with likely has not shared that story, shared your experiences. Empathic listening requires that you understand how the situation affects the other person in the framework of their own experiences. When you do this, regularly and sincerely, you create a deposit in their emotional bank account and allow the other person to truly open up and express the fundamental issue.

This deposit creates credibility and trust, a safe environment for this other person to express the real need, the real feelings that they have. Rather than speaking in code because they are afraid to expose themselves, they will speak more plainly because you have accepted an understanding of the situation based upon their needs and experiences instead of yours.

In the book, Covey uses the example of a Father talking to his Son about school. How many of you recall a conversation with your own parents that went something like this:

Child, “I don’t understand why I have to go to school. I hate it.”

Parent, “I walked to school, 3 miles each way, and up-hill both ways. If I can do it you can too.”

We have heard this type of example before but, silliness aside, it is an example of projecting one’s own autobiography onto another. This conversation is going to go nowhere fast, because the parent is not listening with empathy.

Practical Applications

In order to develop this habit, ask questions that promote your own understanding of the situation - questions that probe into the feelings and motivations of the other person. This can be difficult, for you as the questioner as well as for the person answering. Until you make that deposit in their emotional bank account they may not trust you enough to be open.

Ask questions like these of yourself, if the answer is no, ask the speaker to elaborate:

1. Do I feel that this is the deeper problem?
2. Do I believe that this person really trusts me to answer honestly?
3. Do I know for certain the emotion behind this problem?
4. Have I been in this situation? If so, does this person have the same experience that I do?
5. Can I give an honest response based on my understanding of this person’s feelings?
6. Do I understand the basis for this person’s perception of the situation?

These are just some sample questions to ask yourself, you may think of others. I recommend that until you have incorporated this habit into your routine you carry a note card with the questions written down as a memory aid.

Assumptions to Avoid

Your first response when listening to another person may be to frame their problem in terms that you recognize. This sort of interpretation does not foster empathic communication. Remember that this other person does not necessarily have the same experience that you do. To become an empathic listener and communicator it is important to work toward helping the asker find the answer, in terms of their own experience.

Stay away from a responding “I do it this way because”. This projection will cut you off from the trust of the other person. Once you understand where they are coming from, then you may offer a response that is based on your experience, but expressed in terms of the other’s point of view.

Avoid being judgmental. Your own experiences and biases may affect your response. There may be cases of conflict where these very biases are the basis of the discussion. Keep in mind that part of your responsibility is to assist the other person to become an empathic listener as well.

Building the Habit

I ask you to take on three simple activities that will help you administer and adjust to your new habit.
These activities are:

1. Create a Weekly Plan

Take some time at the end of your Weekly Review to plan your activities for the coming week. If you are not familiar with the Weekly Review, click here for more information. One of the basic principles that Covey teaches is that of the Big Rocks. These are the vital commitments that you need to put into your agenda first. Then you have room for the smaller stuff, the “pebbles and sand”. Your Big Rocks for this week include practicing one of the Practical Applications listed below:

1. The next time that you see people in a discussion about a problem or conflict, cover your ears and watch the emotions that are displayed. Picking up on non-verbal communication is a powerful part of the empathic listening process.
2. Make a conscious effort to have an empathic conversation with someone that you are close to (this makes the development of trust easier). Assist them with a problem that they may have, paying close attention to their point of view.
3. Listen to someone that you look up to as a good communicator. Where do they use probing questions to get at the need behind the need?

2. Make a Personal Commitment

Commit yourself to adding one of the above activities to your weekly schedule in order to learn the new habit. Because most new learning is lost the first week, guard against this by sharing. If you have trouble keeping appointments with yourself, get a friend, partner or co-worker to hold you accountable.

3. Teach to Learn

One of the best ways to establish your own understanding of a new topic is to explain it to another person. Pick someone that you can teach the concept of Empathic Listening to, it can be your accountability partner or someone else. This can be a very powerful way for you to improve your listening skills and your ability to communicate clearly.

Please let me know if you have any questions or need some help. There is no worksheet this week, so do not worry that you missed the download link. For new readers, here are all of the posts in the series:

• Habit One - Be Proactive
• Habit Two - Begin with the End in Mind
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part I
• Habit Three - Put First Things First, part II
• Habit Four - Think Win/Win